This week’s life rule is sort of long, so I suppose it doesn’t quite fit the “pith” bill:
Your goals aren’t always someone else’s goals. Their goals aren’t always yours. This is okay.
This is the same principle as my “It’s not a contest” rule, but apparently that pithy one-liner wasn’t enough for me, so I had to spell it out better.
I often find myself unsatisfied or discontented with various aspects of my life and self, not because I’m genuinely unsatisfied, but because I feel that I should be. I see the lifestyle and discipline of other people, and I think, I should be like that. And I’m not. And therefore, I must work harder.
While there’s something to be said for pushing yourself to do and be better, this should never come from feelings of inadequacy. I’ve found that when you change because you don’t feel good enough as you are, you’re doing it wrong. When, however, you change because you want to improve and progress, the change is more positive and lasting. There’s a difference between being motivated by the idea of filling a deficiency and that of regenerating something. They are completely separate mindsets, one negative and one positive.
And the truth is, sometimes my life looks different from someone else’s because my goals are different. My values are different. And sometimes, even if the goals and values are the same, the approaches and methods are different. And this is okay.
I fall into the comparison game more times than I can bear to realize. Just when I think I’m good, I’m not. So I remind myself I am content. Because I am. And I can only get better from here.