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To My Russian

February 14, 2016February 13, 2016 ~ Hannah Kennedy

I love you
for being myself
and getting to grow
into someone else.

I love you
for inside jokes,
morning kisses,
vanilla cokes.

I love you
for silly faces,
karate fights
and swimming races.

I love you
for crying tears,
for working sweat
and wrestling prayers.

I love you
for what I needed,
I love you
the unexpected.

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Hannah Kennedy

Fiction writer and manuscript editor. Wife to Alex, introvert, curly-headed lefty. Thoughtful Jesus-follower.

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Recent Posts

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Emergency Cactus Surgery, circa 2018, colorized.

Today I caved and started up the Christmas music. It was just instrumental, so it’s not *quite* Bing Crosby yet. We had our first snow last night, and even if it didn’t really cover everything, and it’s not Christmas yet, and I’m all for enjoying Fall in Fall, you just can’t deny that snow is magical and it makes you giddy. ☃️🍂❄️ Happy Friday friends. Enjoy the weather, wherever you are.

Happy Election Day! I’m planning to (and excited to) vote, and I think that choosing wisely who will represent you in government is an incredibly important responsibility. 🇺🇸 . But today I am also struck by these words. The truth is that no matter how we vote or why we vote, we still have the responsibility to love and respect each other. Because love is what truly changes things. 💙 . I’ve been convicted of that this past week. The election news cycle always stresses me out. I want everyone to get along and not be cruel to each other, and then I realize with dismay that I myself am guilty of thinking less of others’ humanity and intelligence because of how they vote. As a Christian, I know this should never ever be. 😔 . Because the perfect candidate will not change the world; love will. The perfect set of laws will not change the world; love will. And today I am challenged to love, to the best of my ability. 🌻

We were a little late to the pumpkin-carving game this year, which was fine because I got these babies on sale for a dollar total 🙌🏻 . Alex isn’t really one for pumpkin carving, but I begged because it’s fall and it’s festive and I had a lovely vision of a pumpkin glowing with carved hipster handlettering garlands. 🌿 . Unfortunately, when I got the pumpkins I failed to also buy tools to carve them with, and as a result they were sold out when I walked all around Walmart during the after-church rush. When the time came to be festive, we cut into our pumpkins with dull paring knives from the silverware drawer. (Yes, I know it’s dangerous.)🔪 . Alex traced the Steelers logo into his pumpkin, because you can make the sports man do basic fall stuff but you can’t make a basic fall person out of the sports man. I set to work on my garland, which worked out well enough, and when the time came to put something in the middle, I decided to carve our initials all cute and love-like. I envisioned something casually perfect, you know, like Pinterest.✨ . Except when I carved a little A and a little H, I had a confused moment and ended up carving out the wrong spaces of the letters, so what remained was an abstract house shape and collection of squares. I was mortified. 🏠 . “I feel better,” joked Alex. “At least I’m not the only one who didn’t make something perfect.” . I realized I was holding on to this picture in my head of the most casual, nonchalantly perfect pumpkin. I wanted to make something beautiful, which is fine and good, but in the process I was making someone else feel less than, as if there was more at stake than just having fun. I wanted to do well so I could give myself the Best Pumpkin in the Family medal.🥇 . So I laughed at how utterly stupid my letters looked, because they really truly looked dumb, and I accepted the fact that this year’s pumpkin might just be a dud. 🤷🏻‍♀️ . Thankfully, I was able to fix the letters. They’re still weird, but at least they don’t look like they belong in a modern art museum. And when the sun went down, we lit candles and set them in our pumpkins and watched them glow with delight. 🎃

Leaves on leaves. . . . Also, check out my newest blog post on fall color! Find the link in my bio. 🍁👟👟👉🏻🧡

Today I took a run around our large, looping driveway, and I had to stop and see the mosses and the colorful leaves. 🍂 . The fact that I can say “I took a run” is a huge win for me, because for years I struggled with wanting to run, hating to run, and wanting to not hate to run. I saw people run insanely long races, and they told me I’d love it too if I just tried. The truth was, I didn’t *want* to love running that much. There are just so many other things to do. . And then, two months ago, I started running. Reeeeally slow. . In the past I overextended myself every time I tried to dabble in running. I used other people’s standards of a good workout to dictate how I felt about my health. I injured myself, physically and mentally, this way. And that made me really, truly hate running. . But for two months I’ve gone on a little run a few times a week. I run a mile and let myself be done. I’m still really slow. But I’m far better than I used to be, and it feels amazing. I allow myself to be slow, to take breaks, and to not think running is the best thing in the world. Because I’m sorry, but I still don’t think it is. . I’m learning that it’s okay to like a thing on your own terms, and that you can still do a thing well without doing it excellently. We don’t all have to knock it out of the park. We’re often so focused on getting gains and rising to the challenge that we don’t notice what our bodies, minds, and souls, each of us, specifically, need. It’s okay to just go on a little run, to make progress according to yourself, and to be proud of the little ways you’ve changed in just a few weeks. 🏃🏻‍♀️

Happy national cat day. Go love a kitty, whether they like it or not.

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