Happy Tuesday friends! In less than a week I will be back at school, starting classes for the spring semester. Ahh!
First order of business: I recently opened my new Etsy shop! It’s a humble beginning, but it’s a start in my dream to bless the world with my knits and stitches (and to make a buck in the process! ;). Click on the picture to be whisked away. Also, keep an eye out for the badge I have lurking in the sidebar. >>>>>>
Okay now, Second order of business: some news.
I got engaged!!
Please pardon the girlish squeals; I’m still suspended in some kind of surrealist painting. A pretty one, though.
I have spent literally my whole life thinking about marriage, all in ways that most girls do. When I was little I drooled over Disney movies. When I got older I designed my wedding dress. When I met a very handsome man named Alex I giddily imagined the moment. As time went on and I realized that he was the loving, goofy, suave and manly man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I heartily looked forward to it.
And yet, when we walked in the park in the cold January night, when the moon hung like a pearl in the deep teal sky, when we shivered at our special bench, and when he suddenly dropped to one knee and opened a beautiful velvet box, it felt so surreal. This was a moment I had “planned” for my whole life.
I was going to be so cool, I had determined in my dreams. I’d be perfectly beautiful, with perfect smooth hair and perfect makeup and perfect, ethereal clothing. I would also be perfectly thin and graceful, and so perfectly poetic and witty when I said yes. The sun would be perfectly setting, while a balmy breeze blew perfectly in from somewhere and a perfect mist was setting in from the perfect fog machine over there.
In short, a movie. I was imagining a movie.
in reality, a ninny. I was an absolute ninny.
“Let’s head back,” he said after a few minutes shivering on the bench. It was really cold.
“Okay,” I agreed.
We stood, and then he knelt. He took out the beautiful ring.
And my eyes got really big and I think my jaw dropped – at least a little.
And the funny thing is, I don’t perfectly remember all that he said. I feel bad about that, but honestly, I was in shock. I wasn’t cool. I wasn’t perfect. But he loved me and wanted to marry me.
So I said yes. Well, to be more accurate:
“Yes…” in a wobbly breath.
“This is so… weird,” in a whisper.
“…yeah…” barely talking.
Then I giggled ridiculously while he smiled and gave me the ring and laughed and hugged me, and I clutched the velvet box with the ring still inside of it and kept repeating the same three phrases over and over:
“This is so weird.”
“I love you.”
And then we walked to the car and my legs were jelly, and I didn’t even put the ring on until we were in the car, and then I kept looking at it and saying my three phrases. My vocabulary had gone on vacation. It didn’t decide to return until about an hour later. The awesome thing is, this amazing man still wanted to marry me after I’d been such a goof. It’s probably helpful that he knew this about me before he proposed :o)
So, we’re engaged. And it’s awesome. And so weird. But awesome. And I’ve learned through all of this that movies are crap. Life is not perfect in the Hollywood sense of the word. The images and ideas that shaped all I expected romance to be fall woefully short, because they are not real. Real life is messy and silly, ridiculous and imperfect. And you know what? I love that. I love that Alex and I can laugh over how crazy shocked we are that such a big moment in our lives is here. I love that we don’t go through life with ease, perfectly prepared. Sometimes God calls us to be unprepared, to have faith and to enjoy this messy, imperfect life for what it is. When we do we experience something better than a fairytale.
We experience something real.